Features
Fathers Today – Balancing Work and Family
Starla Ivey, PhD, research associate, Building Strong Families Program, University of Missouri Extension
As a father, your active involvement in your family contributes to its strength and stability, as well as to your children’s achievement and behavior. But juggling the demands of maintaining a busy job and spending quality time with family can be a challenge.
Recent research has looked at the expanded roles of
fathers in the home and shows a new kind of father
emerging – a more involved one whose responsibilities
reach farther than his career.
Research suggests fathers are spending more time with
their children than they have in the past and that the
increased involvement is more interactive (playtime and
homework) in nature than custodial (cleaning and
feeding).
Many fathers say they rank spending time with their kids
above money, personal status or power. Other dads say
they would take a pay cut if it meant having more time
to spend with their children. But some fathers worry
that prioritizing family over work could have a negative
effect on their careers or hurt their chances for
advancement.
Employers are beginning to address fathers’ needs.
Flexible work schedules and compressed workweeks allow
fathers to meet work demands while maintaining quality
family time. Some companies even offer paternity leave,
which gives fathers time to bond with newborn children.
About 14 percent of companies nationwide offer paid
paternity leave, which ranges from a few days to six
weeks.
To find out if you are eligible for paternity leave and
for how long, contact your human resources department.
In some cases, taking leave may affect other benefits,
such as health insurance, pay raises, and vacation days,
so be clear about your rights and privileges while on
leave.
If paternity leave is unavailable or your children are
older, there are still things you can do to stay
connected with your family. Remember, it is quality of
time rather than quantity of time that makes a
difference.
- Limit work on weekends, vacations and
holidays
Avoid answering your phone or checking your e-mail while at home to have more time with your children. Tell co-workers you will not be available during that time, but you will get back to them as soon as you return to work. - If you travel often, keep your children
informed and involved
When you have to go away, leave notes, recorded messages or videos of yourself reading a favorite bedtime story for your child. Discuss the trip with your children when you return, showing pictures and telling stories to help them feel included. - Consider asking for a more flexible working
arrangement
It never hurts to ask. Try working longer days in order to have one day off per week, working through lunch in order to leave earlier, or doing computer work from home. If you create a more flexible schedule, be careful to not let work spill over into all of your family time. Be sure to take time for yourself each day, too. - Participate in school or extra-curricular
activities
If your child’s school allows it, eat lunch with your child during your lunch hour. Arrange your schedule so that you can attend your child’s special events (like an awards ceremony). If your employer encourages volunteerism, spend time volunteering at your child’s school. - Promote a family-friendly workplace
If you are an employer, work with employees to arrange flexible work arrangements, time off for fathers, and to help with child-care arrangements. If you are an employee, hang your child’s art in your work area, bring your child to work when allowed, and work with others to arrange flexible work arrangements. - Create “family prime time”
At the beginning of every month, schedule family time and write it in the calendar. Get input from all family members about fun activities and vacation ideas. Spend whatever time you have together, even if it is just a few minutes to read a story or talk about your day.
For fun ideas to do as a family, download “Having
Fun with your Family 365 a Year, Family Survival
Activities."
See guide 6640, “Promoting
Family Strengths” for more information about strong
families.
To learn about how to have a family council, see guide
6641, “Family
Councils: The Key Is Communication.”
Resources
Amato, Paul & Rivera, Fenando. (1999). Paternal
involvement and children’s behavior problems. Journal of
Marriage and Family, 61, 375-384.
BabyCenter. (n.d.). Paternity leave: What are the
options for dads? Retrieved January 31, 2005 from the
Baby Center Web site.
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/8258.html
National Fatherhood Initiative. (2004). 12 ways to
balance work and family. [Brochure]. Gaitherburg, MD:
Author.
Shepell, W. (2004). A family-friendly balance for
working fathers. Retrieved January 25, 2005, from the
Warren Shepell Family Matters Web site.
http://www.warrenshepell.com/balancingact/balancing-200406.asp
Voices 4 Children. (2000). Fathers Today. Retrieved
January 25, 2005, Child and Family Canada Web site.
http://www.cdcefc.ca/docs/vocfc/00000807.htm
Working Mothers. (2004, October). 100 best companies
2004: The inside story from A to Z. Working Mothers,
101-170.
Yeung, W. J., Sandburg, J.F, Davis-Kean, P.S.& Hofferth,
S.L. (2001). Children’s time with fathers in intact
families. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63,136-154.
Last Updated 10/04/2007
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