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Toilet Learning
ParentLink, 4-H/Youth Development, University of Missouri-Columbia
Learning to use the potty is a big event in the lives of
preschool children. Learning is a full-time job for
children at this age, and learning to use the potty may
not be as important as learning to climb, jump, run, and
talk. Children learn this new skill at individual times
of readiness. Patience and timing are important keys to
success for parents. A calm, easygoing approach with a
consistent plan and good communication works
best. Remember that toilet training is something you
cannot force, or it may become an unnecessary battle for
control.
1. How can I know if my child is ready for toilet training?
There are several different signs that indicate a child
is ready to begin toilet training. These include:
- Physical signs: Children can stay dry for several hours, get on and off the potty chair or toilet seat by themselves, and can pull their pants up and down with little help.
- Verbal signs: Children can name different parts of their body and tell parents when they need to use the potty.
- Following directions: Children are able to understand and follow directions.
- Motivation: Children are willing to cooperate in order to reach this big step in their lives.
2. At what age are most children toilet trained?
Most children are toilet trained between the ages of 2
and 3, although individual children mature at different
rates. Girls generally learn toileting a few months
earlier than boys.
3. What are the steps to teaching
children to learn toileting?
- Watch for signs of readiness.
- Read books about potty training to help children understand the process.
- Borrow or buy a potty chair, steps, and/or attachment for the toilet. Place the new potty in the bathroom and tell children what it is for.
- Dress children in easy-to-remove pants to make the job easier for them.
- Encourage children to sit on the potty for a few minutes. When they succeed, praise them. If they do not succeed, reassure them: “We’ll try again later. If you have the feeling that you need to go, let me know.”
- Remind children to use the potty on a regular basis such as before and after naps, after dinner, and before bedtime. As children become used to the potty, they will use it on their own and need fewer reminders. This may take only a few days but more likely will take several months.
4. Suppose my child is afraid of flushing?
Children often respond to flushing in one of two
ways--either they are fascinated by the process or they
are scared. Children who enjoy flushing will enjoy
watching everything flush away and may want to repeat
the process again and again. Children who fear flushing
will prefer their parents do the flushing. Make sure
children are off the potty before flushing. Children may
need reassurance that they are safe and that only their
body wastes will be flushed away.
5. How should I react to mistakes during training?
Remember that mistakes are a part of the process of
learning to use the potty. Treat them casually, offering
your sympathy and support. It takes time for young
children to learn this complex new skill.
Nighttime control generally comes later after daytime control so diapers may still be needed for awhile for sleeping. Your child may regress during times of change, such as a move to a new home or the birth of a new brother or sister.
Last Updated 04/20/2008
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